Being evil to save money

Nice guys finish last right?  No one could accuse me of being too nice, though I don’t think I’m terribly evil.  Maybe just a teensy bit.  But you don’t want to be the guy who stands in the rain, holding the door open for everyone else do you?  Well, whether or not nice guys do finish last, I’d like to suggest some tongue-in-cheek (and not-so tongue in cheek) ways to save money while being just a little bit evil.

last donut

Photo credit: trekkyandy via Flickr

Always take the last donut

Ever feel guilty for taking the last donut or chocolate bar from the snack table?  Don’t!  Even if you’re not hungry – TAKE THE DONUT.  TAKE IT.  You can stash it for later and potentially save yourself a trip to the store when the 3pm munchies set in.  If it’s a wrapped up snack, even better – no rush to eat it.  It’s practically money in the bank.

This is something I’ve actually done.  There are often snacks set out at work and I will generally take a bit more than I need.  If it’s perishable, I’ll usually eat it with my afternoon coffee.  If it’s not perishable, I may eat it or not.  The extra goes into my “snack drawer” (it’s like the emergency fund of empty stomachs) or gets taken home for Brian to take with his lunch the next day.


Limited time promotions are a couple’s best friend

Ever wish your 6 month cable and internet promotion would never end?  Well, it doesn’t have to!  Even though most of these promotions are targeted for new customers, cable companies generally consider you a new customer if you have not subscribed to their services within the last 6 months to a year.  If you’re a couple or you have a roommate, simply have one person sign up to get the promo.  Then when it is expired, cancel the service, ask to be removed from their list of customers, then have the other person sign up for the promo!  Alternate until your cable company has an aneurysm.  Cheap cable for all!  If you have multiple cable and internet options, then it’s even easier.  Cycle through the promotions and companies, alternating the person on the bill each time.

This is another trick that Brian and I have done.  With any service, it pays to know the rules and regulations that the company uses and to take advantage of them.  After all, if the situation were reversed, they would not hesitate to bill you for everything you’re worth.


But why pay when you can get it for free?

Instead of paying for internet at all, why not get it for free?  Many people still do not lock down their wireless signals and even those that do, most have poor password protection.  Swoop in, and enjoy.  Or, if that’s too evil for you, consider getting your internet from the local coffee shop, hotel or retail business.  If you stand close enough to the building, you don’t even have to go inside and spend money!

I generally am not stupid enough evil enough to simply steal other people’s internet.  It’s not very secure and it’s not a great long term solution to saving money.  If you do need to cancel internet for whatever reason, I’d suggest simply getting a library card and availing yourself of their internet services.  This is what Brian and I did when our apartment burned down.


Online all the things!

Everyone knows that buying things online is often cheaper than buying them at the store.  But many people are reluctant to buy things online which they have not tried in person.  Well, easy evil solution – go to the store, try on the item, then go online and buy it!  This is a great tactic for glasses (take down the size, style, and brand of frames), clothes, shoes, and even books.
I often do this with books that require browsing – a new author that I’m interested in, for example.  I don’t do it so much with shoes or clothes because I don’t buy enough items at one time to make the shipping and handling charges worth it.
Do you have any evil or semi-evil tricks to save money and get ahead?
Posted in: Life Hacks

Top of page