As we tick off each day towards retirement, our dreams start to take on shapes that can range from utterly sublime to downright hilarious. Some of these ideas are grounded in a sweet slice of reality, while others seem to launch from a springboard into the stratosphere of fantasy. We’re hooking you up with these wildly unrealistic retirement dreams shared by folks from all walks of life—no filter, just fun!
Become a Vineyard Owner in France
“It’s never too late to start a new career, right?” That’s Bob from New Jersey’s motto as he dreams of owning a vineyard in France. Despite his lack of experience in winemaking—and his rudimentary French skills—he’s enamored with the idea of cultivating grapes and producing wine. France has over 27,000 square kilometers of vineyards, so he’s got plenty of locations to choose from.
Cruise Around the World—Permanently
Susan envisions a retirement spent on a luxury liner, cruising from one exotic port to another. “Imagine never having to mow the lawn again,” she jokes about her perpetual holiday. With the average cost of living on a cruise ship estimated at $135,000 a year, her dream might be pricey, but she’s all in for a life at sea. Seasickness pills? Packed and ready!
Open a Cat Sanctuary in Bali
“Every cat deserves a beach holiday,” Karen from Miami muses as she plans to open a sanctuary for stray cats in Bali. She dreams of providing a haven for felines. However, she might not yet grasp the complexity of animal care regulations in Indonesia. Bali is known for its spiritual ambiance, making it the perfect backdrop for her retirement plan despite the challenges.
Become a Yoga Master in India
At 65, Greg’s retirement plan involves mastering yoga in India, where nearly 300 million people practice this ancient discipline. He admits he hasn’t practiced much yet but believes it’s all about the spiritual journey. Starting his training right after his retirement party, he’s excited about the prospect of attaining inner peace and maybe even teaching a class or two.
Mine for Opals in Australia
“Who needs a gym when you can mine opals?” says Linda, who plans to strike it rich by mining in Australia. She’s undeterred by her lack of mining experience and the fact that the Australian Outback, where opals are plentiful, can reach temperatures over 50 degrees Celsius (122 degrees Fahrenheit). Linda’s adventurous spirit is fired up, ready to dig deep for her fortune.
Write the Next Great American Novel
After 40 years of crunching numbers, Tom is ready to switch gears and pen the next great American novel. He’s been an avid reader his whole life, which he believes sets a solid foundation for his writing career. “All those years of reading tax codes have to be good for something,” he jokes. While less than 1% of writers become bestsellers, Tom’s optimism is as boundless as his imagination.
Become a Michelin-Star Chef
Mary, whose culinary experience peaks at microwave dinners, dreams of earning a Michelin star. She laughs, “Microwaves today, Michelin tomorrow, right?” Becoming a top chef requires years of intense training and experience. And yet, Mary is eager to swap her microwave for a chef’s hat and conquer the culinary world one recipe at a time.
Live Like a King in Thailand
Dave imagines retiring in Thailand, believing his savings will afford him a royal lifestyle there. “Currency conversion? I’ll figure it out,” he says with a grin, not fully grasping the complexities of financial planning abroad. Thailand’s cost of living is favorable compared to the U.S., but living like a king might require a bit more budgeting than Dave expects.
Skydive Every Day
Jerry plans to skydive daily during retirement. “Why settle for morning coffee when you can jumpstart your day at 10,000 feet?” he quips. While skydiving is an exhilarating sport, jumping every day could cost upwards of $200 per jump. Jerry isn’t deterred by the cost or the risk; he’s all about living his retirement at full throttle.
Become a Famous DJ in Ibiza
“At 70, why shouldn’t I be the life of the party?” Helen wants to spin records in Ibiza. Her grandkids worry her ’70s hits might not be the current club bangers, but Helen is undeterred. Ibiza is known for its vibrant nightlife, and Helen is ready to bring her groove to the island’s famous dance floors.
Hike the Entire Appalachian Trail
Mike has set his sights on hiking the entire 2,190 miles of the Appalachian Trail. “Just a long walk, right?” he laughs, underestimating the physical and mental stamina required. Only about 25% of hikers who start the trail complete it, but Mike’s enthusiasm remains high as he plans to take his first step into the wilderness.
Search for Atlantis
“I’ve got my snorkel; now, where’s Atlantis?” Claire is all about finding the legendary sunken city. Despite the mythical nature of Atlantis and no credible historical evidence to support its existence, Claire’s enthusiasm for her underwater treasure hunt remains undampened.
Start a Rock Band
Joe thinks retirement is the perfect time to start his rock band despite not knowing how to play any instruments. “Age is just a number in rock ‘n’ roll,” he asserts, already brainstorming band names. While learning music later in life is challenging, Joe is ready to live out his rock star dreams.
Photograph Every Bird in the World
Emma, an amateur photographer, aims to photograph every bird species. “It’s a few thousand species, but who’s counting?” she chuckles. With over 10,000 bird species worldwide, Emma’s retirement is set to be a globetrotting, feather-filled adventure.
Open a Dive Bar on Mars
Phil’s retirement plan is out of this world—literally. He wants to open the first dive bar on Mars. “I’m just waiting for my rocket ship,” he jokes. While commercial space travel might still be a few years away, Phil is ready to serve up the first martini on the Red Planet.